Thursday, 25 August 2011

New Beginnings.. And the Same Old Fears..

Well, I've been rather absent from the Blog scene for a few weeks.. The real world has a nasty habit of taking over and the Summer Holidays don't help!! Anyway, I am now pleased to present the first Blog of my new life!

A few weeks ago I did something I have never done before.. I walked into a company and spoke to the Boss with regard to a job that didn't exist. I smiled nicely, handed over my CV and left ~ quite honestly thinking that was that. I have since applied for God Knows how many jobs and had put my cold call to the back of my mind. 

So we fast forward through the Summer Holidays, it's Monday afternoon and I am once again contemplating my total lack of funds and cleaning the kitchen. My house phone rang and I ignored it as I was well into scouring a cupboard (or scared it would be someone asking me for money, you decide). Then my mobile rang and I thought I had better answer it. 

Imagine my surprise when it was the nice man who I had cold called several weeks before.. immediate switch to best "Radio 4" voice and acting as though I wasn't standing there in my grots with a bottle of cleaning fluid in the other hand.. Yes, of course I could come in for an interview ~ when would be convenient? An hour and a half from now? Oh no problem, see you then. Cue throwing phone down and hysterically racing into the shower, stopping, returning bleach to kitchen and getting back into the shower (that's true!). We will gloss over the tears at not being able to find anything remotely suitable to wear for an interview, attempting to put make up on a face dripping with sweat and the efforts to sweep my hair into a style that hides the hideous length of grey root that seems to have appeared overnight. Suffice to say 45 minutes later, I was showered, primped, preened and attired in my best "Yes I'm an Estate Agent" outfit. I ran outside to the car and stopped dead ~ ironically the same word that could be used to describe my car, the Starter Motor having expired the day before. My choices were simple ~ run 3 miles down the road and arrive in a pool of sweat or spend the rest of the week's budget on a taxi.. Well, food is for wimps isn't it? And so 5 minutes later I was residing in the back of a lovely air conditioned taxi on my way to see if I could blag my way into a job.

And I did ~ I walked in and a wave of calm fell over me. Gone was the fearful, sweaty middle aged Mummy and in it's place appeared a cool, calm, collected professional woman. I chatted, I answered questions smartly and appropriately and I acted as though the idea of holding down a job for the first time in 4 years was just another normal day for me. When I was offered the job I asked about the salary and benefits without turning a hair, agreed slightly less than I wanted and slightly more than he wanted to pay, and a starting date. We shook hands, I smiled and sailed out with a cheery smile.

Round the corner I silently screamed my joy to the skies, lit a cigarette ~ after several false starts due to shaking hands ~ and phoned my friend to say "Bugger the tea it's wine time". In a moment of total rashness I lashed into next weeks budget and got another taxi, clutching 2 bottles of wine I have stylishly purchased from Marks & Spencer ~ oh yes, I am a stylish bird..

Well, I now know that 2 bottles of wine on an empty stomach result in serious drunkeness; I also know that all my friends are lovely as they put up with my phoning them up and rambling ~ the rambling increased in direct proportion to my intake of wine, unsurprisingly.

So I am due to start my new job next week ~ I am excited and terrified in equal measures. Can I do it, can I hold my own in an office full of people who appear to have been born since I left school? Can I manage a full time job and being a single parent? Can I remember how to be a viable member of society if I'm not wearing jeans and Ugg Boots? 

Only time will tell I suppose, but I can assure you that if you want to know, this will be the place to find out? Bring it on World ~ I'm going to give it my best shot.