Saturday, 21 April 2012

Finally 7x7x7x7

It is with great shame that I realise that I have not yet taken up the gauntlet thrown down by the fragrant Julie and indulged myself in the 7x7x7x7 challenge. So, 

I have to list 7 Blog Posts I admire

Then list 7 things about myself

Then answer 7 questions set by my "Tagger", set 7 questions of my own, and then pass on the whole damn thing to someone else.

Oh Bugger, here goes nothing...

In no particular order, and ignoring (in a truly cavalier style) that it should be specific posts I will happily list  Angie Annetts ~ she makes me laugh, cry, gnash my teeth and reach for the vodka, normally within the same blog post...
The gorgeous pouting Julie ~ she blogs almost as randomly as I do, although she is a much nicer person that me!
Another lovely lovely human being, albeit with a laugh like Sid James, Mrs K writes in many, many styles and under a few different names ~ I love every one of her guises!
Next comes Wendy ~ she is a cancer survivor and writes with courage, humour and grace. If I had to face what she has dealt with I would hope I could do so with a tenth of the style she has shown.
Then we have the indescribable Stringy ~ Now this man should probably have been locked up years ago for the safety of the rest of mankind, but he hasn't and so we are all free to enjoy his writings.. and I'd like to add that he is a jolly nice chap in real life as well!
New to the blogging scene (man..) is the ever so slightly barking mad Kate ~ a woman who inspires such loyalty in me that I damn nearly held her hair back as she threw up after a bit of a sesh..
Finally, and for the pure unadulterated joy of crying and choking with laughter Can I recommend Inflight Bitch ~ Please God I never get on the same flight as her...

Right then... 7 things about myself.
  • I really, really don't like clowns ~ I find them extremely sinister. Which rather puts the mockers on me ever taking the kids to the Circus!
  • I am allergic to rubber ~ I'll now wait for the sharp intake of breath as we all avoid the obvious question (the answer is yes..)
  • When I was quite little I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be a horse..
  • I know the eight pieces of music and the luxury item I will choose when I am famous and appear on Desert Island Discs.
  • Despite being a complete coward, I had Laser surgery on my eyes a few years ago.
  • I can't sleep unless I have Gerald, my toy donkey.
  • My favourite book ever is "A Prayer for Owen Meany" by John Irvine

Now for Julie's questions:-
  1. When was the last time you told a lie?  I'm an Estate Agent, it's part of my job description.
  2. Is there any food you've not tried, but would really like to? Um, I'd like to try more fish, but tend to stick with what I know ~ how dull!!
  3. What Posters were on the wall of your teenage bedroom? I have to confess that I had no posters on my wall, I lived most of my teenage years in either a book or my head so posters weren't really an option.
  4. Groundhog Day is real. Which day would you choose, and why? Tricky one this, I would choose a day in Cyprus with my latest ex-husband just after we got engaged. It was a golden day and he and I sat by the Med and drank pink wine and talked and laughed and he told me I was beautiful.. That was one of the most perfect days of my life.
  5. Which is the one room in your house you'd make over, if money were no object? No hesitation, my kitchen.. as long as that meant I could knock down the wall into the dining room and make it one big room!
  6. Would you ever consider/have you ever had plastic surgery? Hmm.. I've thought about it, but on balance I don't really think I would.. It's trying to cheat nature and that rarely ends well!
  7. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done? What? Apart from repeatedly getting married?? It's got to be the Bungee jump I did in my twenties. The next time I am that scared I want to die straight after..

And now my questions.. 
  1. Do you still have monsters under the bed?
  2. What is your favourite time of day, and why?
  3. Is there a piece of music that can make you cry, and if so, what is it?
  4. If you could choose an accent, what would it be?
  5. Is there anyone in your daily life that you just know would be improved with a fork in their face?
  6. What is your least favourite domestic chore?
  7. Who are your 3 choices for the perfect dinner guests? (alive, dead, famous or not).

So there we have it ~ and I feel a tiny bit naked after that (as it were) ~ so I am going to pass this on, not the being naked, the 7x7x7x7 of course..

Julie Angie Mrs K Stringy Kate   and any other Bugger who fancies a challenge ~ I dare you!!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

The Power of the Telly Box

There is a programme on tonight "Long Lost Families" ~ it's very mawkish and deals with the reuniting of families separated by adoption. The first series last year was dubbed "Mummy's Weekly Weep" by my kids, as I sobbed my way through every episode.

It resonates with me on many levels, the main one being that of an adopted child. I am not sure whether this is a appropriate subject for a Blog, but it's my bloody Blog and so I've decided to write about it.

My parents wanted children desperately but it just never happened, and so they chose to adopt ~ and being the amazing human beings they were they subsequently adopted 4 of us, my Mother never did anything by halves! I was only 10 days old when I was adopted, which meant that I didn't have to grow up in Solihull, which is where I was born ~ I mean me with a Brum accent?? I think not..

I didn't find out I was adopted until I was about 9 ~ I still remember walking upstairs and hearing my sister scream at our Mum "I hate you, you're not even our real Mother" ~ which is, quite frankly, one hell of a way to find out! I ran into my parents' bedroom and wept bitterly for about 15 minutes with my poor Mother tying to console me.. And then I suddenly realised it actually made no difference to me AT ALL.. My Mum and Dad were still my Mum and Dad and life was really no different, other than it would be a bit cool to tell the girls at school!

At the time I asked questions about my "real" parents (God, I hate that phrase) and my parents skillfully avoided telling me anything ~ rightly so, I now realise with hindsight. All I was told was that my Birth Mother was very young when she had me, and that my Mum and Dad loved me and wanted me to be their daughter. Good enough for my 9 year old self!

The years rolled on and there was the odd occasion where I thought I wanted to know more, but the desire passed very quickly as I looked to my parents and realised how lucky I actually was.

When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter my Mum used to get very upset that she couldn't empathise with me, having never been pregnant herself. That hit home for me.. It made me love my Mum even more to be honest.

My Mum died less than 2 years after I had my daughter and the effect that had on my life was devastating. I had lost my best friend and my rock, the light in my life and my Beacon of Hope ~ how the bloody hell was I supposed to cope when my world had been knocked off its axis? And to this day I defy anyone to tell me it would have been more painful if my Mother had actually given birth to me, it's simply not possible. The same can be said when both my big Brother and my Dad died ~ blood ties could not have made the pain any more horrific. 

Throughout all of this I have never had any desire to find out any more about my Birth Mother ~ I have, in fact, been quite dismissive.. I have always brushed off friends who have asked "But don't you have ANY interest in knowing" with the [true] explanation that I felt nothing was missing from my life and my relationship with my parents, and therefore I felt no need to delve into someone else's life.

And then this flaming programme was shown ~ and I realised that I am not the only one in the equation. Somewhere out there (maybe) is the woman who gave birth to me and who (maybe) wants to know about me. You may say that I am thinking like this because I no longer have parents, and to be perfectly honest you may well be right. 

I think I would like to see my adoption records ~ just to see. And yes, I can't help but wonder what if I look like someone else? A harrowing thought I know, but a thought all the same.

So once again, I will sob my way through this programme while I try and decide whether to apply for my records. Might I be opening a can of worms? Or might I not be strong enough to do it alone, maybe I should leave well alone.

Now, excuse me while I go and mop all the mascara from down my face.