Wednesday, 23 May 2012

That Old Adoption Malarky..

Harking back, as you do, to my Blog about Adoption I thought someone might care for an update.. No?? Well you're getting it anyway..

Showing my true ADHD colours, I downloaded the form for requesting information, filled it in, posted it and THEN thought "Oh Bugger, I'm not sure I wanted to have done that". So I then spent a couple of weeks switching between hoping my request had got lost in the post and wondering why I had received no reply ~ there really is no pleasing me sometimes!

Anyway, I came home today to find a letter for me from the General Register Office. What to do? Apparently the answer is hop up and down as though in dire need of the toilet SNIFF the envelope a few times.. And THEN I opened it.

It is a simple letter ~ Apparently my birth details have been forwarded to my local Social Services and will be available for me to see, once I have had "counselling" (For God's Sake). So, that's that really.. All I have to do is make the appointment and forty mumble years of not knowing will be over.

Well, therein lies the rub.. I'm STILL not sure I want to know ~ but knowing the records are accessible is as maddening as seeing the perfect pair of shoes for sale when you just happen to have the food shopping money in your wallet..

The sensible me (yes there IS actually) says there is no harm in waiting a little longer, being completely sure before I make the call, but the emotional side wants to run down to the office tomorrow and DEMAND they show them to me instantly.. and neither side has the upper hand as yet.

So if anyone else has any words of wisdom, please PLEASE feel free to share ~ I am in a positive lather of indecision here and a word or two of wisdom would be much appreciated.


  1. Bloody hell what a choice. If it helps I'm torn in another way. Dirty family secret is I have a half brother out there somewhere but I have no details, at all, other than one of the parents but no DOB or anything and I am banned from investigating by said parent.

    Now part of me doesnt care, he isn't and hasn't been part of my family but in the next breath his shadow has loomed over us all our whole lives (we only found out a few years back) and therefore I'd like to know who he is...

    and then theres the thing, I go digging, upset everyone and even then, does my brother want to know about us?

    Anyhoo that's a rant that doesn't help one bit so I can give you this, no matter what you do, we;ll all be here to hold your hand and remind you that you are awesome lady xx

  2. Being one who was found by a sister I didn't know existed - I've heard her story and she never settled until she knew where she came from. Lots of mixed emotions on all sides, but I'm loving knowing her and wish I'd had her forever. On her side - if she hadn't found us, she would always have wondered. You can walk away if you don't like what you find - but that has to be better than not knowing?

  3. I don't think you have anything to lose. You are secure in the knowledge your Mum was the one who raised you early on and loved you. Now you have the opportunity to potentially find out the story behind the reason you were put up for adoption - satisfying curiosity. No recriminations, just understanding. And who knows - you may get to meet a lovely lady who now has her life together and form a friendship.

    1. Suzan???? Dear God... It's been YEARS woman.. Now I see you're on FB I am going to find you so FAST!!!!

  4. I suggest you read Jeanette Winterson's book, 'Why be Happy when you could be Normal?' She meets her birth mother, and has lots of conflicting emotions about it... might be enlightening and is a good read in any case.